I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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