she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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