That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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