it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
