Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
