Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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