i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
