If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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