Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
