Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
