how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
