her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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