Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
