There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
