i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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