Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
