When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
