Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
