So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
did you just send me my own nude
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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