would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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