garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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