what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
