I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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