is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
