I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
why does every cop we meet know your name?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
