Can i not drive my cunt home
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
