Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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