when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
