Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
