i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
