ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
