i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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