I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
