i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
