Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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