We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
