Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
