I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
