marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
