I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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