Sponge bath it is.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
