I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
