Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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