ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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