3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize