My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
