I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
