I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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