I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
