don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
