State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize